How long can I keep it up? This. Is. Too. Much.

Boundaries to the rescue!

Dedicating your time, energy, and love toward caring for another can be the most meaningful work, but it is equally physically, emotionally, and spiritually demanding.

If you notice those thoughts showing up, think of them as yellow flags waving for your attention and requesting a break away from the action. Boundaries can take practice in the beginning, but they are necessary and healthy, especially when you give so much of yourself.

What is a Boundary?

A boundary is a limit you set to steer clear of resentment and, instead, keeps you feeling honored and energized. If your loved one is safe, warm, fed, clean, and busy with a puzzle, listening to music, or watching a show, see if you can take a few minutes for yourself. A caregiving boundary means that your needs are also important and not pushed to the side. Creating more balance is good for both you and your loved one.

Knowing when boundaries are needed

When you’re asked to do something or know a task is waiting for you, check in with your body and mind. If it feels fine, like an “ahhhh,” go for it. If it creates a sense of heaviness or burden, an inner “ughhh,” take a moment to pause. If a task makes you feel irritated or even angry, listen in. Ask yourself: What boundary would work now? Can the task wait? Is there a way to accomplish this that feels less overwhelming?

It’s perfectly okay to say, “I understand that you would like a [fill in the blank] right now, and I will get that for you, but first, I need a few minutes to collect myself.”

Giving your loved one some choice can also be helpful. For example, you could say, “That sounds good! Would you prefer apples or crackers? I’ll get that for you in [X] minutes.”

Setting boundaries can be as simple as making your mealtimes or breaks outside musts. Asking for help from others is another great way to set boundaries and protect your well-being. (If you want guidelines on how to ask others for help, you can download my care wish list).

Boundaries for the win

You know yourself best. Honor the “UGH” test and take space when needed. It will make your experience more rewarding and less draining. Feel free to book 15 minutes for a free consult and see how we can work together to help you feel confident, calm, and capable.

You’ve got this, fabulous you!